Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What Is Your Story

What is the story you're telling yourself that controls your life? The story that you're starring in, that begins with the premise: "I'm separate from everything else, therefore, each man for himself. What I need is over there…I will try to take it, hold on to it and keep from losing it to others.....therefore, there is scarcity and I have to sacrifice to make sure me and mine are taken care of..." And I will sacrifice a lot to this cause... even if it kills me, and have as much fun as I can…and, oh, it will.

Who is making up the story...God? Evolution, Happenstance? Random-ness, the Democrats...Republicans... Terrorists? The powers that be?...those in control? The military, industrial (etc.) complex? You? Me? The Devil?

Who and what is running the show? Here below is the central unifying and motivating premise of reality as it shows up through evolution…conveniently in English in one compound sentence.

(Finally, the answer from Alfie)

"Free will contributes to the growth and refinement of the whole so that it can give birth to more and more free willing parts who, together, contribute to the growth and refinement of the whole, who...etc.."

"I beg your pardon!" You might be thinking, "Isn't that a little simplistic."

Think about it. Life is one continual struggle between self and the rest, trying to accommodate each other with a minimum of loss and a maximum of pleasure. And the tension between those two movements…the movement of coherence and the movement to fly off on a tangent…is what keeps the universe spinning. Welcome aboard. Time to get your sea legs.

If you are sailer, sometimes you get your sea legs by hanging out in the hole until you stop vomiting....

That's one way...another way to get your sea legs is to practice rolling along the above-mentioned continuum...the dance between the whole and its parts with more and more grace...until you realize that that is all it ever was...a dance between freedom and harmony.

So, come across...and don't forget to smell the flowers

Think on't.

--Errol Strider, Artistic DirectorThe Laughing Heart(415) 459-4512http://striderinnertainment.com/http://www.insightoutwitherrol.blogspot.com/http://www.utopiaradio.com/estrider@gmail.com

Friday, May 7, 2010


Bumping into Not Me

By Errol Strider (pretending to be me)

Easing into this moment…

as I attempt to wend my way around the obstacles of my life…

those judgments I project before me...

that cause me to stumble and fall

and have to watch the ground

in order not to bump into the sharp edged walls

that I make of everyone

by the way I shape them

according to how they are not me.

Errol Strider, Artistic Director
The Laughing Heart
(415) 459-4512

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


How do you become the Light of the World? Simple…Fuse.

After all, what is light? It is the process of fusion. Two "particles" that are otherwise in resistance to each other (protons, egos, sexes, nationalities, religions, competitors, etc.…) who are forced to break through that resistance and converge.

Some call it sex. Either way... it's about interpenetration at the most fundamental level. So when we join with another at that deep level, the energy that was used to keep us apart is released... as Light.

So how does that process apply to human relationships? Well, we need to overcome our actually unnatural resistance to joining and allow the impulse to "co-inside" in love to dominate and take us over. We are enabled to do this becausse as we access that love and submit to its nature. This is the process of spiritual growth.

It's very simple: Duality deludes us into thinking that if we maintain our separation, we maintain our existence, but the truth is, when we join--when we fuse--we become as light, and indeed become the light of the world.

The way to move through this is to first recognize when you're in resistance, know that this is the fear of joining, and the perpetuation of the separation--the delusion of duality...stop, ask for the courage and the faith to be able to engage the resistance itself, and then when that is embraced through love, it's just a hop step and a leap (the "leap of faith" in fact) to be able to join with another, and at that point light is released into the world. At that point of fusion, you're fulfilling your purpose, your mission... you are being the light of the world.

This is why Jesus encouraged us to go the second mile, because, often as not, one of the parties in the conflict is unwilling to embrace the resistance, but indeed, exacerbates the problem through hostility, anger, judgement, denial, etc. This is why it is up to the more "enlightened" person in the engagement to initiate the shift. (And anyone can be the "more enlightened" person at any given moment. It is a constant choosing, no matter how enlightened one has been in the past or is to become, the light of love must be chosen every moment.)

This is good news, but not necessarily easy, because you don't have to wait for the other person to change in order to deliver the "goods.". The power to change, to be about "the good" resides within you. It is in your capacity to choose differently, and as you connect internally with the Source of that power, you are emboldened to go that second mile, cross the bridge/illusion of separation, bring the system back into wholeness, and release more light into the universe. And it is through this simple process that you fulfill who you are and make remarkable contributions to life.

And this is why you really can't fake it, you can only make it.

Errol Strider, Artistic Director
The Laughing Heart
(415) 459-4512

Friday, April 2, 2010

Jesus Poem for Easter inspired by "The Urantia Book"


By Errol Strider

There was a man once, truly that.

Who is known for the cross that he bore?

But who laughed in the market

And slept on the floor

Who designed riverboats in Capernaum,

Studied the ways of all men

In order to rule in perfection

With its trials, upsets, and demands

A universe of 10 million planets

Which the man, who upholds it

Designed, fashioned and planned.

There was a man once, truly that.

Who embraced the mortal dilemma

With a boundless trust

And abiding faith.

Who was immersed in a River Jordan

Allowing himself to give in

To life as we know it in fullness

With its sores, its aches and injustice

But which serves a great hidden purpose

Which the man, who entered its bowels

Could foresee what to us is so dim.

There was a man once, truly that

Who transcended all tradition and dogma

Who forgave the sin

And loved the sinner

Who feared not one who attacked him

But attempted to show them the truth.

By example, he set in their presence,

With his words, his acts, and entreaties

He sought to convince those around him

That all men could live as he

Secure, abandoned and free.

There was a man once, truly that

A man who broke from his elders

Made friends with the poor

Played with the kids

Made choices like all other men

To use power for good or for evil

To be simple or prideful and vain

Battled with grief, failure, betrayal,

But still to remain steadfast to the God,

Who this man knew always as Father and friend.

There was a man once, truly that.

Who did not what others expected

Disappointing his pupils

Estranging his mother

Rejecting requests of the masses

When they wanted to make him king

Yet allowed them to place down the palms

As he rode on an ass to the city

Where they rejected once and for all

This true man, who understood them

And forgave their blindness and gall.

There was a man once, truly that.

A man whom we all misinterpret

Who knows all as his brother

To the exclusion of none

Who did not really die on the cross

To wash away our sins

But to reveal a God of mercy

Who forgives, only loves, has compassion

On his ignorant children who err

So this man died only to show them

How far love would go for them.

There was a man once, truly that.

Whose life on this beleaguered planet

Was a model for all to behold.

Who revealed our humanity to us

What each person can actually become

When we join with this man in knowing

The Spirit that indwells our hearts.

And as he rose from the darkness of death

And appeared to those who knew him

He showed us the path to aliveness…

The deep forever mystery

Of the timeless journey of love.

(c) 1980 Errol Strider

Errol Strider, Artistic Director
The Laughing Heart
(415) 459-4512

Monday, March 29, 2010


Hello Dear Fellow Spiritual Sojourners…hope your trip is going well.

Long time no blog…

Ran into circumstances that forced me to practice what I preach (ugh!)

I am reminded that spiritual values are actually felt… thought you might appreciate this reminder.

“The universe is fondling you in ways you can’t possibly imagine.”

We don’t often think of the Universe fondling us exactly…often as not. the “fondling” can feel like rusty Brillo pads rubbing up against our psyche…that is, if we feel anything at all. But most all of us do long to feel good…and in a higher conscious moment to actually feel “the goodness” itself.

Be that as it may, if you stop for a moment, you can actually feel the fondling going on. And if you need some help, here’s a poem I wrote over thirty years ago. I was driving on Highway 70 from Denver to Steamboat Springs when I was struck by…well…I think the poem says it…


by Errol Strider

I want to be touched.

I want the barren, cold hardness

of fear‑chromed sensations

to be transformed

Into willingness,



And velvet, soft burlap nudging me.

I want signs with their opaque hard letters,

stranded in two dimensions

to become infused with Softness,

with pliable space.

The Present

to be filled

with cubed transcendence.

I want the shrubs left alone,

the trees to sprout and fly

sometimes in winter

And I want the snow to kiss me more often than it does.

I want the suckling.

I want to suckle the real universe,

to find the nipple of god,

place my lips on it,

caress and hail Him/Her/It...

To no longer be deceived by irrelevance,


or theft....

My own,

Stealing me from the Now

Stealing myself into Time

and its singular vision

and linear dryness

Away from my corrugated self.


I want to get off this bridge of polarity,

To arrive in Wonder

beyond this dotted reality

like halftones in a newspaper

This patched perception I call "my world"

trying so hard to misguide me

unkempt and concretized

defined by barbed wire thoughts

unwilling to unlock its waiting arms

or embrace my pre‑pubescent self

with seminal fluids.

Instead, I'm swallowed by some old dry sterile wind

bouncing off lifeless textures on the road

plaintfully asking me for a lift

or at least a quick feel.

I long to stand naked in a real breeze

with virgin oxygen to unmask myself

and reveal my ignorance gyrating

hoping it will breed....




and Saturation with all natural ingredients.

So, I lie in this fallow field

with my seeds in my pocket

waiting to plant myself

waiting to be unearthed

waiting for harvest

to reveal the sprouted essence

of my unquenchable Desire


© 1980 Errol Strider

Errol Strider, Artistic Director
The Laughing Heart
(415) 459-4512

Friday, February 19, 2010



The Nature of the Human Stock Exchange
(continuation of last Blog...
"What's Real and How Would you Know?)

So, what's an Infinity to do? Where is it going to spill if it wants to diversify, if it is already filling up everything…always? Why, the finite, of course. "What's that?" asks infinity of itself. "Well…that's what would happens if I separate the In from the Finite"…There you have it. Could that be what happened 13.4 billions years ago? The "In"…separated from the "Finite" knowing full well that that was impossible…hence the illusion, but hey...an illusion might be a really fun thing…like putting an amazing puzzle back together…with the addition of something the Infinite could only dream about…Novelty…and indeed the infinite does probably and literally dream novelty it up…and that's where you come in.

Everything grows out of the nature and the quality of The Exchange.

Everything that happens occurs through an exchange. All life is just a bunch of never ending exchanges. All we ever do is exchange…exchange this air for that air, this water for that water, this saliva with that saliva…this car, this spouse, this idea, this emotion…all of it. All that is going on are exchanges.

Governments come into being as do corporations and all institutions to manage or at least attempt to manage, if not control, the exchange. Money exchange, stock exchange, chemical exchange, subatomic exchange, exchanging the purple dress one for the green one. Not to mention exchanging this body for not-this-body, probably the most mysterious of all exchanges...exchanging this mortal perspective for an immortal one.

And then there is what appears to be the opposite of exchange, the withhold, staying attached to something…all attempts to solidify, bind, control and concretize reality…to stop the movement of…the exchange.

The challenge is to manage and facilitate the exchange in such a way that, as Jeshua (aka Jesus) says, we keep the system in dynamic balance. Optimal exchange leads to an enrichment of those involved in the exchange: new formations, innovation and ever increasing complexity that must be harmonized with 'the rest', which in turn leads to a more abundant and variegated stew of life, which constitutes existence in the known universe...so far.

Every time we bump up against something, where we feel resistance, that is the universe calling to us to unfold, open up, receive, engage and be transformed through intercourse. Every lover knows this. Every artist knows this…the artist exchanges with her subject and out of that exchange comes the work of art. Lovers exchange and there is not only the potential for ecstasy but also for a brand new being. How's that for a fantastic two for one deal?
So it is with people, with us, with life itself. Consider that we are, in fact, the work of art (obviously) in process—and who knows what the completed piece will look like, or maybe it's just never finished or maybe it's "finished" in stages, in little bursts and fits, until we are called to evolve some more.
It looks like the Life is the canvas,
Absolute Will is the artist,

Our wills... the brushes…

Conscious beings…the paint becoming the picture,

and every time we exchange color with the canvas, we become more conscious…more Being.


After all, if there were not divisibility, how could there be an exchange? How could there be growth, change, diversification, manifest beauty. But if duality is essentially an illusion, what is going on in these "exchanges?" And how is it that we appear to be wrapped up in a package that is decidedly over here and not over there? This is me and not him, her and it? What's with that? …especially if "existence is seamless" as it is purported to be?"

Self awareness is reality turned inward upon itself and differentiated-- that love which continually flows out of the infinite exchange of love itself as the First Source Meets the Second Source in infinite discourse…love must inevitably spill inwardly/outwardly as differentiation…hence "duality." The only place for the Oneness to go is to the "Many-nesses."

"God is all love rolled up into One. We are all love unfolded into the Many".

Every conscious, volitional self-contained, self-aware being has the potential to become as God…to become an all-inclusive, even infinitely personalized universe of its own…forever expanding, universally exchanging…especially as it is understood that life is love exchanged in the ocean of Spirit.

The stage of time and space is set…and you are invited to play your part... to keep filling up the gap between the "IN" and the "FINITE" with your "ever emerging selfhood." And that's achieved through making good exchanges…always willing to trade in what was… for what is eager to be…through and as you.
So, welcome to the "Human Stock Exchange"…where you can keep making exchanges...
the more fluid they are…the more ecstatic they become,
the deeper and more penetrating…the greater possibility for new Life... an ever new you...
the more that you give yourself to the exchange, the more love abounds.
Places Everyone!

Think on't!

Errol Strider
(415) 459-4512

Friday, February 12, 2010


What is "real" and how would you know?

Is something real if it has weight? Mass? What about an experience…Is that real? What makes experience real? Is the memory of the experience "real"?

Is any movement you make real? With your body? thoughts? Movement of the heart?

Feelings? Are they real? Is anything that is fleeting real? What about motion itself? Or Stillness?

Is pain real? Pleasure?

Is reality a Who? A what? A why?

All of the above?

None of the above?

What of any passing experience is real?

Understandably, there is so much to occupy us just to maintain, perpetuate and gratify ourselves, that these questions go mostly un-asked…and if they are asked, will they lead to answers? (My roommate in college assured me that there is no answer. Was he right?) Are any "answers that rise from the depth of being" real as it relates to the problems of living? The demands of life?

If you follow this line of questioning far enough it leaves you off at...


So what informs me of what is real? I like to think that somehow "real" is related to eternity…that for something to be real, it has to persist in some kind of recognizable consistent unity throughout "Always"

And, while we're at it, the "real" must persist through ubiquity…anywhere I step into time and space and beyond…will reality be there to greet me?

In other words, if something is real… by this definition, it must be enduring.… So, if something isn't enduring, can it be real? What is it then that endures? What enables something to endure? What is enduring reality actually made of? Can we make it up? Are we made of it?


If "enduring" is a fundamental characteristic of "reality, what about "endearing"? Is endearing also as indigenous to reality as enduring?

Do they go hand and hand waltzing throug... Ubiquity?

Or is reality what most of us think is the only real "reality? "If it makes money, it's real?" "If it don't make money, it ain't real!"

So there's this profound dichotomy: According to a very prominent socially shared belief, if not conviction…"only that which makes money is real." How does that belief relate to the thought that is what is real is eternal and ubiquitous and may not cost any-thing and still be real?

How to reconcile this is apparent dichotomy. What's a mother to do?

This is where I think that the point of view that only that which makes money is real and the prospect of eternal existence stuff being real is crucial to reconcile. Because... we can be assured that we will continue to have to wrestle with everything that gives money its significance...but in spite of that we will still have to confront the ultimate, "huh?" ....eternity stretched out before us dressed as an unending question mark with no apparent job prospects?

Now, if we focus upon what these two perspectives have in common, I believe we can find our way to a more successful way of being in the world, with each other, and with reality.

So the admonition to "get real" starts to take on some...well...reality.

This is how we get there:

What I think they both have in common, what is real for both perspectives, the reality they share is that they're both about making an exchange.

I believe exchanging is the universal constant. Everything is constantly exchanging with everything else. In its best use, money facilitates the exchange in the world of time and space...products, services, and information. Indeed, all that's going on IS the exchange.

Premise: To get be real and to have a successful economy, we need to exchange more and more effectively at every level that exchange is possible.

When we come to appreciate that it's the exchange itself that generates resource, life, energy, then we can withdraw our addiction to the metaphor, money, and refocus ourselves upon that which is eternal and ever reliable, which is "the ongoing exchange." Specifically, for our purposes, we'll start with the Human Stock Exchange and the dynamics of exchange...how to maximize your use of it.

Next blog: The "Human Stock Exchange" and how it works!

Errol Strider
(415) 459-4512
http://www.utopiaradio.com/ (Insight Out Sunday nights live 7 PM PT


Thursday, February 4, 2010


What is the "consumate human being?"
A Mensch!

I invite you to go on the journey of "menschood" in this poem I wrote several years ago. In case you're not familiar with Yiddish or Hebrew, let me know and I'll translate, but I think you'll get the meaning...


By Errol Strider

Stand up full strength, stride inside yourself,

rimming over,

fully caffeinated male...

Fill the frame... with all your humanity,

no more holding back

no more crouching down

Come forth male God incarnate

light the way…generous spirit

pregnant man with Mensch inside you…

Mazeltov! It's a 144 pound mensch.

We've waited for years,

inside the sack of pain or shame,

the womb of struggle and faith,

the vagina of "It's about time"

You surround each moment with a giant L'chiam

and echoes of "To Life!"

reverberate into every resonant heart

Yea! Mr. Mensch

as you breath vitality into families, relationships,

communities and friends

you are such good company


slide over and ooze into me,

walk with me talk to me of heaven,

speak to me of joy

Show up manly soul


raise your self to the full height

of grandeur man

You have arrived, undiminished,

arms open,

exuding splendor, majesty

and the humility to see it

in all who cross your vision.

You radiate wealth, gusto, effervescence

full pockets bursting with goodies

you enter our space and throw a mitzvah

make it a party

You reek love, you sly Mensch

you drip hope

you dish out possibility, free of charge

You flavor our yearning with the warm spice

of your exuberant presence

you nourish our minds with a buoyant knowing

a knowing that reaches into the First Source and Mensch

who has charged you to deliver his ubiquitous menschness

into every corner of time,

to impassionate every truth-filled desire.

to open up Mensch stands all across the world,

advertising the Menschood

giving out your Mensch brochures—

each warm, intoxicating smile that surges through your love

You are a mirror

for my latent, true, rich, abundant maleness

how gracious you are...

you make room inside you for my woman

you model exquisite intimacy,

the male and female at home in us

two hands clasped in gratitude

2 palms facing the world

ready to receive,

eager to give

What a present you are, you Menschness

friend to the earth,

compadre to the little, the bereft...

those who long for their Menschness,

though they know not what it means

or how to sound it in their person

A long standing grace has made it possible for you to appear now,

to take stage on planet earth

as you walk across the sand, the dirt, the highway,

songs spring from your footsteps

songs of Elohim and Adonai of Allah and Krishna,

of Buddha, Christ, and Mother-Son

As you step fully into this space,

we greet you with a bountiful "Good Yontif!"

Good Shabas!

...each moment suffused with Shabat,

the time to rest in God,

in the revelation of how Menschy we all can be...

when we discard doubt,

and step naked as a budding shoot from the showers of purification

into the full open embrace of renewed innocence

There you are, you hunk of Mensch,

luxuriating in self delight

forgiving the past,

trusting the future

bonded to this sacred instant

where your face beams assurance

to our waiting, eager, hungry pubescent souls

Shine forth, Sir Mensch,

Be Knighted in a diamond studded shout, of


You bring life to the words,

"Bawruch ataw adonoi elohaynu melech hawolawm...

"Blessed art thou, Oh Eternal, Our God, King of the Universe..."

Father of all Mensches.

for all are full bodied total beings in your sight;

that's what makes you our Daddy Mensch

So, what is a Mensch?

A man or woman who walks securely in every living moment,

with full confidence

that every beat of his heart

and each breath of her soul

is a gift to life

and everyone he touches is a gift to himself.




(PS...If you'd like to hear this read with beautiful music played by Itzhak Perlman, let me know and I'll send you the the mp3 file.)

© 2003 Errol Strider